Single & Self Loving

𝗦𝗶𝗻𝗴𝗹𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗦𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝗟𝗼𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴.....

It is that time of year again, when

The Christmas/New Year movies of loving families & holiday romances are now being replaced with saccrine meet-cute rom-coms about lovers making grand Valentine's Day gestures that go horribly wrong but end up in a marriage proposal or at the very least steamy sex.

The supermarkets are filling up with roses & heart shaped chocolates with not so subtle hints toward creating romantic dinners for two from the strategically positioned gourmet produce.

It's enough to make a slightly cynical single emptynester over 40 want to slip into a sugar induced coma!

Unfortunately, many of my over 40 single soul sisters are buying into the messaging that the only worthy state is coupledom and if someone isn't picking them then it means they aren't loveable; even to themselves; particularly, that many are single through divorce.

I've been divorced twice, so I know what it is to fall down the rabbit hole of doubting my loveability & tying my worth to the validation of having a partner.

Well I am here to give voice to the idea of being over 40 & WHOLEY SINGLE rather than single by default.

You are fully loveable without being loved by someone else!

News flash!

If you don't love yourself then you won't be able to recognize & receive love from the Universe or other people.

So this Valentine's Day how about we fill our own cups of love!

Here are 3 key tips to loving yourself everyday

1. Ditch your regrets -

We are single emptynester women over 40 there's no doubt that we've made some decisions along the way that did not work out so well. I know for myself, the hardest regrets to let go of were the times I ignored my inner voice & instead followed the 'musts & shoulds' in my head.

But here's the thing all those mistaken decisions were based on an innocent misunderstanding of where my feelings really came from.

Just like you, I believed that the events & people in my life were making me sad, mad, scared & frustrated. And naturally, if we think our OKness is from the outside then we are going to say & do anything and everything to try and fix those things we think our causing the feelings we don't want. Or, on the flip side chase after & try and hold onto those things we believe are making us happy.

After all that's what all the movies, music & books would have us believe - that people & things create our experience.

So it is a commonly held innocent misunderstanding & we all did the best we could in that context.

But, now you know that you don't have to wrestle the whole world out there to feel OK. You are already completely OK & always were.

Be kind to yourself & embrace the imperfection that is being human. It is not about trying to achieve the perfect experience of your life but rather realising that you are totally OK no matter the situation or your passing response to it.

2. Follow your inner bliss

Did you know that You are not your thoughts but rather You are the dynamic, bliss-filled space between thoughts.

We are all energy beings in physical bodies having human experiences & our factory default setting is the same joy of the limitless Universe/Source

We don't need to chase people & circumstances for happiness- in truth they can't make us feel anything except that we think it.

But here is the best news it's not happy thinking that makes us happy, we don't have to try to analyze & change what we are thinking or unrestand why. In fact, that only takes us further away from accessing the true source of our joy.

It is when we shift our Awareness from the chatter in our heads & just let it ebb & flow naturally that we get to glimpse into the spaces between thinking, allowing ourselves to rest there enveloped by the radiant potential of the present moment free of past thinking, future worries & labels of self.

Now that is pure bliss!

And without forcing anything, we will notice the inkling of 'good ideas' arise from this space & nudge us into aligned action following the signals of our inner joy compass.

Where is your joy compass pointing you toward?

3. Appreciate your awesomeness

Many of us would have heard about the benefits of being grateful for all the good in your life; and there is no doubt this is great advice. How can you be happy if you are not thankful?

But, there can be a shadow side to thankfulness if we believe we 'should' be thankful &/or if we are struggling to see the good in the first place.

What I have come to realize that appreciation is not just for the outwardly 'good stuff' but On reflection I have come to appreciate that those tough times were ultimately beneficial too.

The only point of looking back is to see how far you have come; and let's be real us single empty nester women over 40 have come along way through some rocky terrain to get here.

We are still standing ( maybe not in high heels anymore) & possibly in search of a wall to lean against....

But we are above ground with plenty of wisdom fuel in us to propel us forward into lives of freedom & fun we have yet to imagine.

Look in the mirror (put your glasses on first to see clearer)

Smile at yourself

&

Give yourself 3 Cheers!

You are awesome!

Not because or despite the life you've lived thus far...

... but simply because that is your divine spark

You are a vessel for Universal love to flow through & around you ...

Your existence is a miracle ...

How would you like to show up for yourself knowing this fact?

🔸𝐈𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐫 𝐃𝐌 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐩 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐣𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐝𝐨𝐦 𝐧𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐜𝐢𝐫𝐜𝐮𝐦𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬